This just in:
Fox News, in an effort to be even-handed in its denigration of the world’s religions (“fair and balanced” all the way) has recently taken on Christianity, exposing the Church’s dark, disturbing secret: its long-standing commitment to — brace yourself and cover the kids’ eyes — social justice.
According to Fox’s resident religion scholar, Glenn Beck, this is a perversion of the teachings of Jesus who clearly intended his followers to be Americans — and free-market, capitalist, butt-kicking Americans at that.
In the tradition of Fox News commentators who have helped us wise up about the dangers of Islam and Buddhism, Glenn Beck has revealed the shameful tactics of Christians who are really Nazis and communists in disguise:
“I beg you, look for the words ‘social justice’ or ‘economic justice’ on your church Web site. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. Now, am I advising people to leave their church? Yes!”
Several important people, including Jim Wallis, have issued statements of outrage in response to Beck. Wallis and others seem to be under the impression that Beck is a man capable of reasoned argument, with high critical thinking skills. Wallis’s earnestness is quaint.
Jesus of Nazareth — busy with, er, social justice work in Haiti, Chile, and elsewhere — could not be reached for comment.